“There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness” The Count of Monte Cristo, Pg 117.
The Count of Monte Cristo is a novel that ranks highly on my list of favorites. Although my copy is nicely packed away, it is the first book that I would reread from that pile whenever I spring clean. =)
What’s so fascinating about the story line?
I guess the quote sums it up best. The ‘Count”s life virtually sank into dark abyss when he was wrongly sentenced to jail. He reclaimed his life and recreated a new identity when he inherited the treasure from the priest he met while in jail; a man that imparted great wisdom and life skills. I guess the down and out to emerging as life’s winner is a dream many relate to.
On a personal level, my childhood days were at best hellish. The best days of my life were days spent away from a man that is unfortunately my worldly father. A child’s deepest fear is to be different. My days in primary school left a deep impression on protecting one’s reputation and image around people. When one’s growing up, one wants to fit in and not become a social outcast. Conversation topics typically revolved around TV programmes, dramas, singers etc. For a kid who grew up with no television, it was one of the deepest secret I fear my friends would found out about me. It is no surprise that I constantly wished for a different life; for some normalcy.
I avoided social gatherings such as CNY visits as I was afraid of inviting my friends to my home. A father who refuse to entertain ‘friends’ who kept no friends himself. A father who insist that the world is out to get you. A father who constantly claimed that he was stalked by his enemies. Growing up, I never felt a sense of security at home. I did not know when my mum would threaten to commit suicide.
Today I have nothing but pity for a man who has failed to recognize that central to our existence is the personal bonds we maintain with one another. Choosing to lead a monk like life does not resolve anything. It is merely a form of escapism, thinking that cutting off all bonds is the right way of life.
Nevertheless, growing up in such an environment has made me realized the importance of creating a family filled with love, grace and support. I used to think that because I never grew up in such a loved environment, I don’t deserve to become another’s life partner. Because I don’t want to screw up anyone’s life with a past that used to haunt.
But I have since found peace and met a man I love. Thank you God, for everything I have today. From the bottom of my heart, I dare say, I have finally found the meaning of life and my destiny.